Q
and As from the American Association of Retired People Forum
A few months ago, a
friend sent me a list of frequently asked questions that relate to people of
a certain age.
After reading them
and responding to their humour, the Trumpian “post-truth” concept of “fake
news” came to mind. Two issues in
particular arose.
Firstly, how genuine
are these questions and answers; and does the alleged source, the AARP
(American Association of Retired People), actually exist.
A quick on-line
check revealed that there is indeed a body which operates under that very
name, it has its own website,[i] it has a membership scheme and it offers what
appears like expert advice on myriad topics for elderly people.
Whether this
list of FAQs is genuine or a satirical spoof is quite another matter.
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Q: Where can single men over the
age of 70 find younger women who are interested in them?
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A: Try a bookstore, under
Fiction.
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Q: What can a man do while his
wife is going through menopause?
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A: Keep busy. If you're handy
with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a
place to live.
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Q: I’m
a member of a Retired Christians’ motor cycle club, Heavens’ Angels. Someone told me that motor
bikes are mentioned in the bible. Is that true?
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A: Yes. Old Testament 14:92:
"And the roar of Moses’s Triumph was heard all over the Holy Land..." |
Q: How can you increase the
heart rate of your over-70 year-old husband?
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A: Tell him you're pregnant.
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Q: How can you avoid that
terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
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A: Take off your glasses.
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Q: Seriously! What can I do for
these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
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A: Go braless. It will usually
pull them out.
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Q: Why should 70 plus year old
people use valet parking?
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A: Valets don't forget where
they park your car.
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Q: Is it common for 70-plus year
olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
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A: Storing memory is not a
problem; retrieving it is the problem.
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Q: As people age, do they sleep
more soundly?
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A: Yes, but usually in the
afternoon.
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Q: Where should 70-plus year
olds look for eye glasses?
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A: On their foreheads.
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Q: What is the most common
remark made by 70-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
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A: "Gosh, I remember
these!"
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©Michael McSorley 2018
NIPPER
ReplyDeleteNorthern Ireland person pondering early retirement.
EC